my name is chris, i Live in brooklyn, and I can almost definitely kick your ass in mario kart. 

I Learned stuff from:

University of Notre Dame BA in Graphic Design

Chicago Portfolio School Focus in Art Direction

I've been a:

Short-lived standup comedian

Award-winning mathlete

Freak medical case

I can hold my own at:

Talking sports with the weird uncle

Making irreverent shirts for my friends' bachelor parties

Candyland (lifetime perfect record)


I Love me some:

Watermelon Sour Patch Kids

Refutably pretentious movies and music with irrefutably pretentious names

Lists. If it's on a list, I'm going to eat there, read it, see that, etc.